The Quiet Weight of Caring
The Social Media Trap: Reclaiming Visibility Without Losing Yourself
By Ilene Carol
A featured essay in The Visibility Series
Social media: love it or hate it—it’s everywhere.
For women entrepreneurs, it promises visibility, connection, and growth. But let’s be honest—it’s also become a breeding ground for anxiety, burnout, and performative branding.
As someone who works in social media and branding every day, I see this all the time. Women feel pressure to post nonstop, all in pursuit of engagement—but often overlook the one thing that matters most: being truly social.
The Pressure to Perform
Let’s be real—social media thrives on illusions.
Perfect vacations. Flawless skin. Constant wins. These highlight reels aren’t reality. But they still affect us. Even confident, successful women can find themselves questioning their worth while scrolling someone else’s story.
Why? Because these platforms reward perception over truth. They’re built to boost likes, not connection.
But here’s what many forget: your audience can feel the difference. People are drawn to authenticity, not perfection. When we chase a false narrative, we risk pushing away the very community we’re trying to build.
The Myth of More
There’s a cycle I see far too often:
Women entrepreneurs hustling to post more videos, more carousels, more Reels—spending hours creating, editing, scheduling… and feeling crushed when the return is a handful of likes or crickets.
Why?
Because someone told us that more posting = more success.
Let’s be clear: posting alone doesn’t build a brand.
Social media is not a content dump. It’s a relationship builder. And unless your name is Beyoncé or Taylor Swift, you’re going to have to show up for others before they consistently show up for you.
Rethinking What “Social” Means
The word social is not a suggestion—it’s the point. Visibility doesn’t just come from being seen. It comes from showing up.
Try this instead:
- ✅ Be intentional – Set 10 minutes a day to engage with others. Real comments. Real conversation.
- ✅ Celebrate your peers – Elevate someone else’s work, and watch how your network grows.
- ✅ Focus on people, not performance – You don’t need more content. You need more connection.
When you stop posting to keep up—and start engaging to build up—everything changes.
Build Credibility, Not Just Content
True engagement creates a ripple effect.
When you take the time to comment meaningfully, ask thoughtful questions, and cheer someone on—you’re remembered. People support people who make them feel seen.
And guess what? That support comes back around. When you stop chasing numbers and start building relationships, you’re not just another account in the feed. You’re a trusted voice in the room.
Redefining Success on Social
Social media doesn’t have to be exhausting or fake. Women entrepreneurs can reclaim their mental health, time, and power—by choosing authenticity over aesthetics and people over performance.
Stop chasing trends. Start building relationships.
Because your audience doesn’t want the filtered version of you—
They want the real you.
